How I am...

With the year anniversary coming up - I wonder how I am going to be. The last few months, I have been working on getting past everything. I stopped taking medicine which was so hard for me to go on in the first place. I did not have any freaky things happen during the stop time. I was worried about that. I told myself that I would only need a year to get better. I am not sure if that was the right amount of time or even if I am better - well, I am better but not the way I was. This last month has been day by day. Most days are good with a few in between that are crappy. But i was never going to know if I was better unless I tried. So far so good.
The year point is coming that triggered it all - on the 19th. I hope I wake up ok on that day. But, it will be the day after coming home from my Grammy house, I planned the trip that way so my spirits should be refreshed and renewed.

Honestly, I look at the last year of my life as waste. I wasted my time being sick and I am tired of it. I want my spirit back. This year will bring so many great things. I want to cram my summer with everything I missed out on the last two summers; camping, riding, jet skin and the tide pools. I miss those, I took an awesome biology class right before I got pregnant with jaron and I have not been able to share what I learned with Marisa and I really want too.