I am not sure why I want to bloq. I have this need to be honest and open with myself. I guess what better way to do that, then to post my life on a first basis account here on the world wide web. There is something about the internet, where you think people can not know who you are but in fact everyone can see, read and learn more then you would think. I get that, and in a way that might be easier.
So here I am....for all to see...strange.
I do have some rules though. I plan to be open and honest about my daily struggles and triumphs but I don't want to "talk" about them in real life. With that I mean, if you read something on here that you want to talk to me about...ask me...but only here. I do not want to talk about it on the phone or in person, ok - I still need to feel like I have that wall of safety that hides what I feel around me - This is my attempt at bringing that wall down, but on my terms.
In ways this has been the darkest year of my life that I have ever known, and inside I feel that NoOne gets that. But on the flip side of that I had my son, who has brought the biggest smile of life to mine....what an oxymoron that is.
Ok well, I am going to ponder my thoughts now and come back when I can put them to words.
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Shell & Jax
The love from a dog is so pure
4 comments:
I love you Michelle! I miss seeing you, but understand why we don't see you. You are one of the sweetest people I know and I'm just waiting for that ray of sunshine to shine once more.
Your Friend,
Sherry
Hey Michelle! I'm glad you are going to do this. I think it will be a good thing! Now I might be able to find out how you are doing since you haven't returned my e-mails (you little booger)! I love you and nothing you say on this blog will change that!! I just wanted you to know that.
Hi Shell, I miss you and love you very much. I am so happy you are going to put your thoughts to paper. You are an excellent writer and I feel this will be very healthly for you and your family. I look forward to reading your blog, just don't feel pressured to do it. Do it when it feels right for you. God
Bless you sweetheart. Love Aunt Jennifer
Hey Shell, I know what you mean about that video speaking to you. It's strange that you even wrote all that. When you sent it to me I watched it over and over and it somehow made me feel calm.
Everything you wrote speaks to either what I've gone thru or what I am going thru. Things have been and down in extreme ways for me for 6 years now. I hate that my Shell Bell has to experience it. But if ever there was anyone who could go thru something, analyze it and overcome it, it's you. You are so amazing in every way and you've been my inspiration ever since God sent your beautiful face to me 11/12 years ago. I love you more than I can say.
M
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